Anyone who knows me well knows that I love Korean dramas. To me they are the ultimate escape and are preferable to anything in english. Well… my taste has become more discerning over the years but I give my Korean dramas more of the benefit of the doubt compared to american TV. I think it is because I know there are cultural differences and I also have never lived in Korea so there could be patently false and ludicrous scenarios that if they were set in the US would totally annoy me but don’t annoy me as much so I’m able to get absorbed in to the stories and characters more easily. I have acquired decent taste though so if anyone asked (no one has – haha!) I could give them a definitive list of really well done shows that any English speaker with an open mind would like.
One such show that I watched recently was definitely not the best K-Drama I’ve ever seen – I would give it a solid 7.8. BUT it was entertaining and it made me think a lot about myself, life in general, stoicism philosophy that I’ve been reading lately… it spoke to me on a unique level. Psychopath Diary is a dark comedy about an annoyingly timid office worker (Yoon Shi Yoon). He’s the ultimate victim – and he knows it and hates himself for it. If you have ever had depression or know anyone who has you will relate to his self loathing and the lack of fight he has to stand up for himself and go after what he wants in life. The first episode is a series of unfortunate events that make you so mad at the injustice and his lack of ability to fight it which culminates in him standing on the edge of a building trying to get the courage to jump.
Now here’s where it gets good and you need to start your suspense of disbelief: after his lack of courage (or more positively – finding his will to live) to kill himself he then witnesses a murder by a serial killer (Park Sung Hoon) but immediately loses his memory after he gets in an accident. One of the clues he has about who he is – is the serial killer’s diary which is in his possession (while witnessing the murder shit happens). He of course reads this diary where the killer has recorded in painstaking and gory detail all of the horrific murders he has committed and his utter contempt for human life. Believing this diary is his he returns to his day to day life fighting a battle of trying to reconcile his timid and sensitive personality with his belief that he is actually a dangerous murderer who only uses people around him to his own ends. This gives him the confidence to stand up to people that in reality need to be stood up to. He even gains popularity because he has the confidence to speak up and talk to his peers and superiors with an amount of guts and cleverness that he believes is in his capacity as a dangerous psychopath who has to navigate the world in order to hide how evil he truly is. (Then there’s 15 more episodes about who the real killer is, he finds out he’s not a murderer… etc etc. It was funny I recommend it!)
After thinking about this concept for a few days I realized: that the amnesia and reading the psychopath’s diary was a ‘call to adventure’ and in fact that the whole show is a Hero’s Journey archetype. It is a disruptive jolt that takes this character out of his mundane life. The consequences of all his actions are now heightened and it takes him on an unexpected journey where he meets helpers and villains along the way that change him fundamentally as a person.
Reflecting on my own life I am jealous of the character. I can relate to the character in the first episode to some extent: cognizant of my anxieties, my flaws, and infuriated by the lack of progress that I perceive I have made in some areas. The self loathing and subsequent depression can be a cycle that is difficult to get out of. I have been so low that brushing my teeth seems like a victory. So imagine being in that state of mind and then trying to rally to stand up to oppressive forces in the office, lose 30 lbs, or get out of an unhealthy relationship! When clean teeth is an accomplishment, ‘living your best life’ or other meaningless bumper style affirmations make you more depressed. My best life? In this life?
But what about a ‘call to adventure’! Those three words make me feel excited. How can a person manufacture their own personal psychopath diary? Do you really have to wait until you’re at the end of your emotional tether and witness a gruesome murder scene then get amnesia in order to grow as a person? I’ve tried to motivate myself to change and be more disciplined and focused for years. I’ve never been at peace with myself and have always wanted to improve. The fatal mistake I have made though is looking at the finished product of what I wish I was and then analyzing how I don’t measure up. That’s not a call to adventure. That’s just a miserable goal and a delusion that if only I was thinner, prettier, more interesting, richer… then I wouldn’t be unhappy. A call to adventure is just that: A call! Can you manufacture that call to adventure and take action in your life? And if so what would it be?
See – K dramas are great. Hit me up if you want my top 10 list – I need to go brush my teeth.